Hump Day

Happy Hump Day!

Literally. It's CD14 and it's go time... see?

It really is a mission to POAS at work. I swear I can go to the bathroom at work uninterrupted 15 times a day. So why is it that the one time I am trying to sneak into the bathroom with a plastic cup and my OPK after holding my pee for a good amount of time my boss has something I need to do right then and there, my phone rings, someone needs me or wants to show me something, a client walks in that I have to greet, there's an emergency that just can't wait, someone is handing me a piece of chocolate cake that I have no business eating right before I get to the bathroom door, etc. Then once I finally make it in the bathroom I have pee fright and need to give myself a pep talk because I'm so paranoid that someone outside of the door will hear me pee into something that doesn't sound like the toilet. 

Fun times. 

Bleeding

Yep, I'm still bleeding. CD6 to be exact. This has been a rough period for me for some reason. I normally only have really bad cramps the first 36 hours or so, but I found myself still popping pills on this morning. Not cool bro. I wish I had something to look forward to this cycle.. treatment wise. Don't get me wrong, I'll have plenty of other stuff to keep me busy with the bedroom renovation and my mom coming in town for the weekend, but I just feel like we are at a stand-still. I was a little worried about missing FW this cycle due to traveling for work, but I'm in the clear. It looks like I'll be in Knoxville, Chattanooga, Atlanta, Augusta, and Charleston the week of the 25th which will be just after I O. Woot.


I will leave you with this for your listening pleasures, the oh-so-appropriate song titled Keep Bleeding, by Leona Lewis.

Fat Girl Friday

Last night I killed it in bootcamp class at the gym. So much so that I thought I was going to throw up at the end of class. So attractive. I held it together though. My body was already getting sore before I went to bed. As I was trying to fall asleep I got the first wave of CD1 cramps. Hello cycle 24. I thought, "oh heyll no." So I jumped up and popped an 800 mg Ibuprofen. I laid there for another hour and a half but was finally able to fall asleep.. in pain. Good times. I really hope my Lap next month shows that I do have endo and they burn it all out so I don't have to be in so much pain each month. Ain't no body got time for dat!

Today I give my patented "Fat Girl Friday" a new meaning. In the past I dubbed Friday as a day that I can eat whatever I want guilt free without counting calories or feeling sorry for myself. Since I've been tying to trim down a bit lately there hasn't been much of that going on... or Saturated Fat Saturday, or Sumo Sunday, or Muffin Top Monday, or Too Tight Top Tuesday, or Wide Girl Wednesday, or Thick girl Thursday for that matter. Yes, I came up with all of those days just in case I needed an excuse. Don't judge me. Seriously I am so bloated today... this is how I feel...

Hmmm.. ok maybe not quite like that. I was thinking more like this...

I hope someone out there has my back and is taking full advantage of FGF since I can't partake... at least not how I want to anyway.

Shocker

No, not that one.

Here's the thing. I will never be that girl. I will never be that girl who has a totally cliche story of TTC. For example, that girl who gets pregnant right before her first RE appointment, or right after a miscarriage, or right after her HSG, or right before she drops $230498309852078 to get KU, or right after she applys to adopt. By now I know that I will never be that girl. So why do I still have hope every month? I'm an idiot I guess. I mean, you can't win the lottery unless you play, right? I'm well aware that on our own right now we probably are looking at about a 6% chance of getting pregnant... if that. So why did I pee on a stick today knowing my period was coming? All because I had my HSG this cycle? Dumb. Needless to say that BFN was a total SHOCKERRRRRR!!! Not.

Also, the RE called me this morning to tell me my surgery needed to be rescheduled. Awesome. Now I'm looking at March 21st. So it's really not that big of a different. I am OCD and have a thing with numbers, and 3 and 21 happen to be 2 of my favorite numbers. I guess that's a cool thing. Anyway, have a fab day

The Dates Are Set

Chad's repeat SA is scheduled for March 11th at 1:00. This will be a huge deciding factor as to how we move forward. On January 17th his sperm count was between 100,000-200,000, but we really need for them to be around 6-8 million this time so that we can at least qualify for IUI. Huge jump, I know. He will be doing this sample from home this time which will definitely help with the awkwardness of having women cackling outside of the door while he is trying to "rape himself," as Chad calls it. We are really hoping that his low numbers were due to the Testosterone Boosters from Walmart that he had been taking for about 2 months. As soon as we got the call with his low results those pills were thrown in the garbage and he immediately started taking Fertilaid. Chad isn't anticipating them rising significantly and feels like we are destined to have an IVF baby.

I also decided to bite the bullet and scheduled my Lap surgery for March 15th. I'm not sure about my coverage information yet, but I should be receiving that any day in the mail. I'm anticipating about $2,000 out of pocket expenses. The Dr really thinks I have endo.. so Lord, let there be endo that he can get rid of! I really wasn't looking forward to having exploratory surgery (that still has it's risks) that costs as much as (2) IUIs, just to see if I MAY have something only for it to be able to come back! He did say that if we do IUI or IVF we could "bypass" doing the Lap of course because I could still get pregnant, but I know it's probably better to start off with a clean slate NOW rather than 3 or 4 IUIs in. Stab away Dr!

2-4-1

I am somewhat of a tight wad when it comes to myself. I don't go get my nails done, I try not to get my hair done unless I have to, and up until recently I didn't really ever go shopping for clothing for myself. Most of my clothes are very old (some I've even had since high school) or they have been graciously passed down by great friends (thanks Lori). When I did shop sale racks and I would find a cute shirt that could also be worn once pregnant I considered that a 2-4-1 deal! Fast forward to now and I pretty much hate anything that is empire waisted or poofy in the stomach area... for obvious reasons. However, I continue to hold on to these stupid things hoping one day I can put them to use. Well Chad and I are selfishly redecorating out entire bedroom and bathroom. Flooring, paint, furniture, decorations.. the works. Included in that is a new more functional closet! Part of the deal was I really need to let go of a lot of clothing that I've been holding on to before we got started on that. The problem was since I never shopped I clung onto what I did have even if it had a hole, or a stain, or if I had to ghetto rig the button closed. You get it. Now that I am actually buying newer things for myself here and there I can finally purge. I came across those pregnancy hoe clothes (that's what I call them) and wasn't sure what to do with them. By the way, I mean nothing derogatory by using the word hoe. I'm a hoe. You a hoe. My mom is a hoe. You get it. Anyway, a friend from TB suggested packing them away for now so they were in my face or in my space. Great idea, duh. So I came up with the genius idea to shove those pregnant hoe clothes in the future nursery in a dresser that is just sitting it there. So I cleaned out my closet and had a Nikki hoe pile (for my friend who is smaller than me), a pregnant hoe pile, and a thrift store hoe pile.  I have 4 trash bags already and haven't even gone through my dresser yet! I love purging!

Oysters Anyone?

Warning: I am disgusting. This entry may disturb you.

I had a dream. No, not at all like the one our good friend Martin did.

In this dream I was teaching my hip hop cardio dance class at a new gym. For some reason their sound system would not accept my brand new ipod, and as back up I had to get a CD of music from the girl running the place in the front office. She was looking down on me as if it was my fault, and I felt horrible because I really wanted to make a good impression on these women. I've never been a good free styler so it was really stressful for me as I had to come up with new material on the spot for these eager women looking to dance off the pounds. After the torturous class was over I felt something wet down under. I ran to the bathroom to inspect what the deal was. To my surprise there was something that resembled a raw oyster coming out of my vajay. I was really scared, but for whatever reason I was compelled to then tug on the oyster-like blob to see what would happen. What happened? It was attached to something.. a part of something.. I proceeded to slowly pull out my entire reproductive system. Yeah. That shit just slid right on out. It was like my vajay was Mary Poppin's purse! LOL. I was freaking out but glad not to be bleeding at all. Thank the Lord for THAT one. I couldn't help but take a gander at my ute, and to my surprise there were 3 poppy seeds in there! Y'all know what that means.. three babies! Whew! Boy am I glad I yanked that puppy outta there. There's no way I could handle three churins! I flushed my reproductive system down the gym toilet like a dead fish. I then calmly drove myself home and went in to tell Chad what happened. Chad, the man who said he wouldn't even cry if I died, teared up when I told him there were 3 babies in there. That's when I knew it was all a dream and woke up.

Fast forward to real life.

I told both my best friend (Jew Twin) and Chad about the dream.

Jew Twin's response: "Maybe that means you're going to have triplets!!!"
Chad's response: "Maybe that means you're craving oysters!"

Oysters anyone????